When It Feels Like You’re The Only Single Person In the World
On Halloween, I found myself straight ugly crying while stuffing bread in my face. Yes, this was me. I’d spiraled into a mental lie that threatens to isolate us, inhibiting us from being who God made us to be: you are the only one in the world experiencing this.
It’s so easy to get caught in the six inches between your ears, creating false realities in your mind. On this particular day, my false reality was that I was the only single person in the world. As I sat at my parent’s kitchen counter, yes eating honey glazed dinner rolls while sobbing so hard it was almost impossible to understand what I was even saying, I complained: “Mom! I am literally the only single person of all my friends. I must be the only single person in the entire world… I’m never going to get married!” Insert dramatic face palm here. My Mom with a soft tough love, looked me straight in the eyes and challenged me: “Emily, you are not the only single person in the world,” after which she began listing friends and family who were unmarried too. I know, I know… come on, Emily. It’s ridiculous to believe I am the only single person in the entire world. Duh. But that wasn’t the root issue that day… it was just the lie inviting me into isolation. My Mom continued, “Have you asked God if you’re going to get married?” Well… that one stopped me in my tracks. In-between bites, I mustered, “Mom… duh. Of course I’ve asked God that question. But He hasn’t done anything about it lately while all my friends are getting married!” Without hesitating, she pushed back: “Emily, if God told you He has a man for you, why are you so worked up? Do you trust Him?”
Do you trust Him?
At first, her questioning just made me mad. I mean, of course I had talked to God and asked Him if marriage was a part of my story… or had I? As I really stopped and considered my Mom’s words, I realized that in all my talking at God about wanting a relationship and seeing Him move in the relationship department in other’s lives and not mine, I hadn’t slowed down enough to ask Him whether that was even a chapter He was going to write in my story. So I put my buttery dinner rolls down and began a conversation with the Bread of Life Himself.
When I walk down the path of believing I am the only person in the world experiencing something—whether that’s singleness, health issues, friendship break-ups, really tough projects at work, financial stress, or anything!—I’m leaning into the exact lie the enemy wants me to believe: that I am alone. And warrior friend, you and I are far from alone. Because I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I am never alone. He is with me, He is for me, and He is in me. Stepping into isolation causes me to move my eyes away from trusting Him and onto me… what I can control and do. My Pastor and Daddy, said this recently: “When you decide to take matters in your own hands, you look down and see that what you get is in your own hands… not God’s.” The dangerous tight rope I walked that Halloween night was taking matters into my own hands—and, in turn, forfeiting all that God has promised me.
It didn’t take me long to realize just how right my Mom was. I talked to God, heard His voice, and knew my pity party needed to come to a quick and abrupt end. So I wiped the tears from my face, thanked God for answering my prayer, and laced up my warrior boots… literally. I may have mentioned it was Halloween, right? So I suited up in my Wonder Woman apparel and invited the Wonder Woman within to breathe again… trusting that the God who created her knows best for her, has a plan for her, and that if He has promised something, He will surely deliver.
“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Song of Solomon 8:4, NLT
It would be easy this week to slip into the shadows of isolation. Scrolling through Instagram the week of Valentine’s Day when you’re single can feel… very anticlimactic. That wise man who spoke about taking matters into your own hands? He also said this: “Who you are in God matters most…you’ve got to have a healthy me before there can be a healthy we. God is championing something in you. Will you live fully satisfied in God and trust Him for ‘someone’? God is the expert on romance.” This is my challenge to me… and my challenge to us: will you believe that God is the expert on romance? That God is the expert on your story? And that the story He is writing is so much better than you could ever imagine? No… you are not the only single person in the world. And if you were, would it even matter? Because the last time I checked, my God is still the God of miracles—do I trust Him enough that even if I was the only single person in the world, He would still show up for me as He promised?
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.” Proverbs 3:5-8, NLT
Warrior friend, God surely is the expert on romance. Do you believe it? Do you trust Him? When lies of isolation creep in, will you choose to run… not walk… straight to the Bread of Life and live fully satisfied in Him?
If you’ve never begun a relationship with Jesus, make today your day! I’d love to share with you the Hope I’ve discovered in Christ! Email me here.
A great resource to tap into that has been a huge encouragement to me is Ben Stuart’s book, Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life & Love in the Modern Age. Grab your copy here.